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1.Law of Mechanical Repair
-After your hands become coated with grease, your nose begins to itch and
you will need to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any
tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, rolls to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability- The
probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of
your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always
answers.
5.Supermarket Law - As soon
as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
6. Variation Law - If you
change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move
faster than the one you are in now.
7. Law of the Bath - When
the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters
-The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when
you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When
you try to prove to someone that a machine will not work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics
-The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theatre.-
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always
arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to
go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the
performance is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move
once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of
the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As
soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your spouse will ask you to do
something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of
Lockers- If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical
Surfaces- The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a
floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or
rug.
15. Law of Logical
Argument-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical
Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public
Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of
Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you
really like, they stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law- If you
don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you
get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll
stay sick.
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